Tuesday, July 31, 2012


Yesterday was the day. It's been a crazy 8 months. Paperwork, home study, paperwork, fundraising, fundraising, paperwork, fundraising....wait, wait, wait, wait. Last week I was emotionally and physically drained with all things adoption. Over the weekend, I relaxed and tried to stop obsessing over when we would receive travel dates.

Monday morning I opened my email and the first email said "TRAVEL DATES!!!" Oh yea...we got our travel dates!!! Oh yea...we're going to meet our daughter!!! It's hard to contain my emotion right now. In fact, I have so many emotions I don't even know what to do. I'm over the moon excited, but then there is this part of me that is terrified. Well, it didn't really take me long to figure out that the terror was driven by pure evil. I have become good at knowing when I must cast evil out of this adoption. Every time we get close to taking a big step in the adoption I have felt the presence of evil. Thankfully, I knew beforehand that this would happen and I learned to denounce Satan promptly. It has become so apparent to me that every time something good is going to happen for God, spiritual warfare ensues.

My husband and I will be on a plane to Europe in 11 days!!!

August is a busy month for everyone. Back to school rush can make many moms crazy. This is no ordinary August for us. I have to travel out of town for my brother's wedding the first weekend. The second week my daughter goes away to summer camp. The third week was light on the schedule and the week that held the smoothest childcare arrangements. The fourth week there are back to school meetings and preparation. The last week of August, school starts.

As you can see there was a one week window that would be perfect for us to travel. For months I have prayed that we would travel August 11th - 18th...our only free week. Any other week would have caused major stress.

Our travel dates are August 11 - 18 and I have to say Praise God for that! I've seen how wonderfully things come together when you have faith and follow Him.

I am so thankful that God has shown me that He will take care of the details if we will just follow Him.

Next detail...airfare.

I immediately contacted the travel agent to book our tickets. Has anyone noticed that the Olympics are going on? Have any idea if that may have impacted airfare? The country our sweetie pie is in also has a long vacation period during the entire month of August. Not good for airfare.

Our tickets were priced at $3366. Our RR account had $2418 in it. I decided to post a link to our RR account on Facebook in hopes that we could get closer to covering our airfare.  Terrified, but praying. Within one hour our RR account had $3388 in it. I was in tears. This is not what I thought would happen. But God shows up. He moves people. Gracie will meet her parents in 11 days!!! Praise be to God!!!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

I realized today...I love her

For eight months I have busied myself with paperwork and fundraising. I have barely, if at all, come up for breath since we decided to adopt. I have over 200 pieces of paper in my very organized adoption binder. We have crossed every T and dotted every I. My dear husband has eagerly driven to Austin twice to get everything apostilled. We have spent many days checking our email every five minutes and racing each other home to check the mail. We've had four garage sales, sold some jewelry, had an iPad give-away, a crawfish boil, an online auction...and more to raise funds. We have been about to raise about $8000 and we have paid over $11,000. We still have about $12,000 left in travel expenses and our final agency/program fees. I know there is more as these numbers seem low but these are my best quick calculations for now. Money was a big part of our adoption fear but after I turned that fear over to God He showed me that it would all work out. I promised to do my part so I worked my behind off fundraising. So many people have been apart of helping us that I can feel my heart smile and cry when I think about it.

So, that is where I have been. I have been keeping my mind and my heart consumed with paperwork and fundraising.

Then, about 3 weeks ago, I was told our dossier was submitted, approved and we have a verbal referral for Gracie. The wait then began for a written, signed referral. Once we have that we also receive travel dates, book our trip and prepare to meet our Gracie. This is expected to happen 3-4 weeks after the verbal referral. As of today, it has been 3 weeks and 4 days (but whose counting). Every five minutes I check my email. All day long, I calculate what time it is in her country. I try to determine if our attorney is asleep or awake and working. If I feel that she is awake, I check my email again. At 2am our time it's likely her work day is beginning. So, I check my email when I should be sleeping. When I wake up in the morning, before I even get out of bed, I check my email through sleepy eyes.

I have prayed and asked everyone to pray. I am trying so hard to honor God's timing in this. That is all I know to do.

But today I was sitting at my computer at work and I realized that night was falling in my baby girl's country and I started to cry. Out of nowhere crocodile tears were flowing down my face. I grabbed my car keys and ran to my car to cry and save myself from embarrassment at work.

Sitting in my car, I let myself go somewhere that for the past eight months I have not allowed to happen. I realized today that I love Gracie. It may sound silly, but I have been protecting my heart from loving her. I have been protecting myself form the pain and sadness that I feel today. She is 6,112(ish) miles away. 6,112 miles away from her home. 6,112 miles away from her family. She doesn't even know what a home and family are, but soon she will. For 3 years, 5 months, and 21 days she has been without a real home, a real family. Today I let my mind and heart go there. I put my guard down and I yearned and cried for our baby girl. Today I realized...I love her. When I look at her picture I feel something different than before. Even though I've never met her, I miss her.

Please pray with me that we will get an email with our travel dates soon. We are ready to look into her eyes, touch her cheeks, stroke her hair and tell her that we love her.