TRAVEL DATES!!!!

Yesterday was the day. It's been a crazy 8 months. Paperwork, home study, paperwork, fundraising, fundraising, paperwork, fundraising....wait, wait, wait, wait. Last week I was emotionally and physically drained with all things adoption. Over the weekend, I relaxed and tried to stop obsessing over when we would receive travel dates.

Monday morning I opened my email and the first email said "TRAVEL DATES!!!" Oh yea...we got our travel dates!!! Oh yea...we're going to meet our daughter!!! It's hard to contain my emotion right now. In fact, I have so many emotions I don't even know what to do. I'm over the moon excited, but then there is this part of me that is terrified. Well, it didn't really take me long to figure out that the terror was driven by pure evil. I have become good at knowing when I must cast evil out of this adoption. Every time we get close to taking a big step in the adoption I have felt the presence of evil. Thankfully, I knew beforehand that this would happen and I learned to denounce Satan promptly. It has become so apparent to me that every time something good is going to happen for God, spiritual warfare ensues.

My husband and I will be on a plane to Europe in 11 days!!!

August is a busy month for everyone. Back to school rush can make many moms crazy. This is no ordinary August for us. I have to travel out of town for my brother's wedding the first weekend. The second week my daughter goes away to summer camp. The third week was light on the schedule and the week that held the smoothest childcare arrangements. The fourth week there are back to school meetings and preparation. The last week of August, school starts.

As you can see there was a one week window that would be perfect for us to travel. For months I have prayed that we would travel August 11th - 18th...our only free week. Any other week would have caused major stress.

Our travel dates are August 11 - 18 and I have to say Praise God for that! I've seen how wonderfully things come together when you have faith and follow Him.

I am so thankful that God has shown me that He will take care of the details if we will just follow Him.

Next detail...airfare.

I immediately contacted the travel agent to book our tickets. Has anyone noticed that the Olympics are going on? Have any idea if that may have impacted airfare? The country our sweetie pie is in also has a long vacation period during the entire month of August. Not good for airfare.

Our tickets were priced at $3366. Our RR account had $2418 in it. I decided to post a link to our RR account on Facebook in hopes that we could get closer to covering our airfare.  Terrified, but praying. Within one hour our RR account had $3388 in it. I was in tears. This is not what I thought would happen. But God shows up. He moves people. Gracie will meet her parents in 11 days!!! Praise be to God!!!

I realized today...I love her

For eight months I have busied myself with paperwork and fundraising. I have barely, if at all, come up for breath since we decided to adopt. I have over 200 pieces of paper in my very organized adoption binder. We have crossed every T and dotted every I. My dear husband has eagerly driven to Austin twice to get everything apostilled. We have spent many days checking our email every five minutes and racing each other home to check the mail. We've had four garage sales, sold some jewelry, had an iPad give-away, a crawfish boil, an online auction...and more to raise funds. We have been about to raise about $8000 and we have paid over $11,000. We still have about $12,000 left in travel expenses and our final agency/program fees. I know there is more as these numbers seem low but these are my best quick calculations for now. Money was a big part of our adoption fear but after I turned that fear over to God He showed me that it would all work out. I promised to do my part so I worked my behind off fundraising. So many people have been apart of helping us that I can feel my heart smile and cry when I think about it.

So, that is where I have been. I have been keeping my mind and my heart consumed with paperwork and fundraising.

Then, about 3 weeks ago, I was told our dossier was submitted, approved and we have a verbal referral for Gracie. The wait then began for a written, signed referral. Once we have that we also receive travel dates, book our trip and prepare to meet our Gracie. This is expected to happen 3-4 weeks after the verbal referral. As of today, it has been 3 weeks and 4 days (but whose counting). Every five minutes I check my email. All day long, I calculate what time it is in her country. I try to determine if our attorney is asleep or awake and working. If I feel that she is awake, I check my email again. At 2am our time it's likely her work day is beginning. So, I check my email when I should be sleeping. When I wake up in the morning, before I even get out of bed, I check my email through sleepy eyes.

I have prayed and asked everyone to pray. I am trying so hard to honor God's timing in this. That is all I know to do.

But today I was sitting at my computer at work and I realized that night was falling in my baby girl's country and I started to cry. Out of nowhere crocodile tears were flowing down my face. I grabbed my car keys and ran to my car to cry and save myself from embarrassment at work.

Sitting in my car, I let myself go somewhere that for the past eight months I have not allowed to happen. I realized today that I love Gracie. It may sound silly, but I have been protecting my heart from loving her. I have been protecting myself form the pain and sadness that I feel today. She is 6,112(ish) miles away. 6,112 miles away from her home. 6,112 miles away from her family. She doesn't even know what a home and family are, but soon she will. For 3 years, 5 months, and 21 days she has been without a real home, a real family. Today I let my mind and heart go there. I put my guard down and I yearned and cried for our baby girl. Today I realized...I love her. When I look at her picture I feel something different than before. Even though I've never met her, I miss her.

Please pray with me that we will get an email with our travel dates soon. We are ready to look into her eyes, touch her cheeks, stroke her hair and tell her that we love her.
 
 

Approved...waiting for dates!!!

Our dossier has been received, translated, submitted and approved!! Well...there's an update for ya! I'm so excited!! I was told that we have a verbal referral and are now waiting on the written referral. Once we get that our attorney will give us travel dates. We are still expecting August. Praying for the week of August 10th(ish) because my baby brother is getting married the prior weekend and we have lot's of back to school things to do the following two weeks. It will all work out. Thank you for your prayers and support!

An Update & History of Our Journey

Yesterday we received great news! Our USCIS application for adoption was APPROVED!!! We should be receiving the notice in the mail soon. The next step is for our entire dossier to be taken to Austin for state apostille and then off to Gracie's country for review. We are hoping to meet her in August! I was very excited after I received the news. Then, last night I started to get nervous. All along this journey I have allowed fear to creep in. Thankfully, I can turn to scripture and know that God did not give me a spirit of fear. If He did not give it to me, I don't want it (and you know where it must come from). I tossed and turned all night and then I was reminded that this journey has a much bigger purpose than adding a child to our family. I should not worry about having too much on my plate. I should not worry about any of the things that I usually worry about. For God will sustain us.  He will carry us through all of those little, insignificant things that I worry about. He reminds me of what is important. Let me take you back to the real beginning of this adoption journey...

This is one of those painful stories. One that I try to push out of my mind. One that I wish I had never experienced. One that I'm glad I did.

There are many faces. Faces of children with Down syndrome. The faces that I see when I close my eyes at night. The faces that cause me to weep. Faces that deserve a family, love and a home. These faces are real children. They remind me of why I will get on a plane soon and have no fear.

In July 2011, pictures of a sweet girl named Teri Lynn started spreading across the Internet. A desperate attempt to save a little girl from a life and early death in a mental institution. At the young age of five years old Teri was moved from an orphanage in Eastern Europe to a mental institution. Just weeks after her transfer an update photo of her became public and was devastating to anyone with a heart, especially those of us who have a child with Down syndrome.

These are the before and after photos of Teri Lynn.



When I saw the transformation of this child I had an immediate physical reaction. I found myself sobbing and sick in the restroom where I work. I shared these photos with my husband and we were one of the many families that inquired about adopting her. Everyone rejoiced as the news came that Teri Lynn had a family that was going to adopt her. I will never forget how this stirred me inside. Thus, our adoption journey began.

Through many twists, turns and even heartbreak we were led to Gracie. Yes, we were led. In quite an interesting turn of events it was clear that she was the one.

Now, there is another. Another story of a child transferred. Pictures that will break your heart.

Ksenia is nine years old and (sigh) I have no words. You can read more about her here. She is only available for adoption to Canadian families at this time. Share her story, blog about her, scream out to those in Canada and please pray for her to find a family soon.

There are many more who will and already are in this same situation. One of neglect, abuse, starvation and being drugged so that they will just sleep quietly.

This is not just what happened to two unlucky little girls. This is what will happen to all of these precious children if they do not have a family come for them. This is the reality that won't go away.

My heart breaks that I cannot save every last one of them. But rejoice, it will, when I have Gracie in my arms, can fill her tummy like she's never known and can tuck her into a warm bed at night with more hugs and kisses than she has had in over three years.

This is why I cannot let fear lead or consume me. I have to be led by faith and trust in God. Every time I have doubt, I remember these pictures. They are not just pictures; they are precious children.

While I'm Waiting...

I love, love, love this song and have learned to love it more during the adoption process...

While I'm Waiting (John Waller) :

with underlining for emphasis

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

 

 

Our family (and friends) are anxiously awaiting USCIS approval. There is a hold up and I have been in communication with our case worker on what the hold up is. It is minor, but is causing a delay that has now accounted to several weeks. It's nothing to cause concern regarding our approval, but unfortunately we are at the mercy of the dark hole of inter-office file transfers. I seriously wish someone could just walk to the vault of files from 40 years back and dig out the one very important file that is needed for our approval as I am really on the verge of becoming impatient right now...but patiently, peacefully and faithfully I am waiting.

 

I had a dream last week that was nearly a nightmare. I rarely have/remember my dreams, but this one has stuck with me. I had a dream that I was the passenger in a car that one of my friends was driving. In the back seat were some of our children. We were driving around a curvy road that seemed to be a mountain on one side and a cliff on the other. Yes...the cliff was on MY side of the car! I was feeling a sense of panic as my friend (who I could not identify in the dream) started taking the curves too fast. I said to her, "you should probably slow down around these...." and off the cliff we went. My heart was racing and I immediately began to pray! Very clearly, prayer was my answer. I am so thankful that even in my dreams, in my time of fear, I prayed. I prayed that our pain, injuries and suffering would be minimal. I prayed that if we died in this accident that our family and friends would have peace. Then, I prayed the Lord's Prayer. It is then that I woke up and...continued to pray. Thankful that this was just a dream, I continued to pray. What craziness is this? What did this dream mean? I could not get it out of my mind. Then, I started to tell a friend about the dream and it hit me as if I was solving my own problems in therapy.

 

Michelle, you are not in control!

 

A little about me...I like to be the driver. I like to be in control. Clearly this dream was a message to me that there is only so much I can do to move this adoption along. I have crossed all the t's and dotted all the i's and now...I have to trust...I have to be patient...I have to wait...I have to pray.

 

God knows how this adoption will unfold. He knows how much time is needed for us to prepare our hearts and our homes. He knows how much time Gracie needs. Obviously three years in an orphanage is three years too many in my book, but this is not my book. It's God's book and I'm going to turn one page at a time until He is ready to reveal the story to me in His time.

 

Pray with me, friends. Pray that we will have the patience to accept the things that we cannot control. Pray that we will move quickly on the things that we can control. Pray that God works in our hearts, home and family while we wait. Pray that Gracie is doing well and that she knows love from her caretakers.

 

As we do not know the path of the wind...we do not know when it will blow, but eventually it will.

 

Update

I realize that I have been MIA on my blog lately and need to give some updates. The house is so quiet and still this morning that I have finally found a good time to share some updates.

Funds: Our fundraisers have been huge successes and kept me very busy last month. At one point I had four fundraisers active at the same time and seriously did not even realize so many were over-lapping. We raised $400 with flipflop2adopt, $538 (minus $20 for a counterfeit bill) from a garage sale, $1100 from the iPad give-away, and $1200 from our crawfish boil! To everyone who donated, helped out, showed up, offered any kind of prayer or support...thank you so much!! The high cost of adoption was one of our biggest fears. I realized early on that I would have to give all of my fears up and turn them into trust in the Lord and that, my friends, was the best decision I've made.

We are about $10,000 away from having all of the ransom money needed to bring our Gracie home. We have covered all of the adoption costs and fees and are now down to the travel expenses. We have a couple of local fundraisers going on so I have faith that we will get there. To help out please click here to donate to our FSP.

Paperwork: You would not believe the paperwork. It's a good thing I'm pretty organized and don't mind paperwork because I know some people who would probably be thrown over the edge by all of this. It's definitely a different kind of pregnancy...one full of ink pens, signatures, paper cuts and government involvement rather than...Well, you know I'm also experiencing heartburn, nausea, doctors and weight changes.  The symptoms of pregnancy are different, but the same. So, back to the update...

A lot of important things have happened over the past week. We received our FBI clearances in the mail. I had to send those to Washington DC to have them apostilled by the US Dept of State (they were sent to a courier and should be back to us on Wednesday). On Monday, we received our biometric fingerprint appointment from USCIS. Our appointment was scheduled for May 21st but I was told we could walk in at any time so we went on Tuesday. It was the most efficient government office I've ever been to. We were done in less than 10 minutes and I was a happy mommy!

Now we are waiting on approval from USCIS to adopt. Once we get that approval we can submit our dossier to the country that Gracie lives in and wait for them to tell us we can come to meet her!!! Really???  Are we that close to holding our daughter??? I am anxiously awaiting...and constantly checking the mail!! I just found out from another family that they did their fingerprints on Monday and received approval in the mail on Friday!! If my head is on straight (and we have as good of luck as they did), we could receive our approval in the mail TODAY!!! Any ideas who will be looking out the window and meeting the mailman at the mailbox before he can do his wonderful job the way he is supposed to do it?

I have a few more items to take care of that need to be added to our dossier. This includes taking photos of our house (inside and outside) which means...well, I need to clean house! Speaking of the house...it's not still and quiet anymore. I've got to go make the little one breakfast and start cleaning now...while I check out the window for the mailman, of course!

 

And the Winners of the Give-Away are...

Oh WOW!!! I am so happy to be able to give away these great prizes!!!

I just have to say that many people helped out in so many ways and I am touched!!!

We had 127 entries via donations and people sharing on FB and Emails!!

Between the Flip Flop 2 Adopt Fundraiser, the Give-Away, Garage Sales & Crawfish Boil we are well on our way to rescuing Gracie and bringing her to a loving family...a family that includes all of you! 

God is bigger than than any obstacle! I walk in faith!

OKAY...So I know you want me to just get to it right???

I pulled the winners in a completely random drawing via www.random.org and the winners are...

an iPad 3 now belongs to...

 TAMI CARTER

a Photo Session with Kerri Liles Photography now belongs to...

LINDSEY WALL

a Massage Envy Gift Card now belongs to...

 

EMMA HALTOM

I am so so grateful to EVERY SINGLE PERSON who participated in this give-away. Every single dollar, message to a friend, and prayer on our behalf has meant so much. Just unbelievable. I can't wait for you all to continue on this journey with us as we continue with paperwork, fundraising, travel and bring home this precious baby girl.